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MANUAL COFFEE

CLUTTON-SMITH eased back the joy-stick that operated his neurons to give them time to cool down, after his introduction to his first second-user PC, at the ripe (not to say senile) age of 85. He had spent half an hour trying to find a Making Coffee icon before he realised he would have to make it manually. He swore a solemn oath in pithy Anglo-Saxon to read between the bottom lines of the smallest print at the next update.

Mind you, he was not completely green. He had had a battered old second/third/or fourth-hand Windows 3.1 for a couple of years, but after two or three short lessons from family members, had failed to practise what they had preached. After getting so tangled up that he sometimes took half an hour to get out of some obscure programme before shutting down, he gave it up and did all his word-processing on a Starwriter 300.

But the fates intervened. In a busy period of fairly urgent correspondence, the Starwriter did him dirt by failing to print. The fates certainly knew what they were doing, because only a week before they had produced this second-user Windows 98. For a week this machine had lain as dormant as the 3.1 had for two years. He saw the writing on the wall (in Times New Roman:

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