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Prologue: In the Beginning

As human beings we can only view the world through our own narrow perspective of experience. We can never truly know what another person is experiencing, but only guess, as we see them through our eyes.

In order to create a reference point, we have to experience something different from the first experience. Unless we do this, we have nothing to compare against. In other words, we must know what is not, before we can know what is. The same is also true of God.

When I use the word know, I mean experience. For although it is possible to know something intuitively, or conceptually, unless you have direct experience of it, you cannot really know.

The following is my interpretation of these concepts as talked about in Conversations with God Book 1 by Neale Donald Walsch. Edwin Courtenay also discusses these concepts in many of his tapes. It is extremely difficult to rewrite this in my own words; for both God and Edwin do an excellent job that I could never hope to emulate. (I am sure that Edwin will be highly amused to see himself compared to God!) For those who wish to understand more I recommend that you investigate these sources.

Most people today believe in the concept of a creative force. This has been given many names, such as God, Allah, the Divine, or simply the Source. I am aware that many people have great difficulty in using the word God, so in this context have chosen to use the word Divine. This will help people to understand the true meaning of the word.

In the beginning was the Void, an empty space that existed before time and limitation, with a sleeping consciousness similar to our dream state. As the Void slept, the Void dreamt, and what the Void dreamt came into being. The first thing to be made manifest was a sentient presence that became known as the Divine.

For a while the Divine existed, unaware of the Void, its source, and believing that it was all that there was. After a while the Divine became bored. Hungry for knowledge, He strove to learn and understand more. The Divine realized that in order to know Himself, and His limitlessness, He would also need to know what He was not; in other words to experience limitation.

He divided Himself into a number of pieces, so that He could then look back and experience Himself from the viewpoint of these separated pieces. In the moment that this separation took place, the concepts of time and limitation came into being. This is what scientists have referred to as the ‘big bang’.

The Divine then began to construct the universe as we know it, including other dimensions and parallel universes. In the beginning, like the Divine, these too were pure energy, but quickly became solid as the energy was converted to matter. The Divine was aided in His endeavours by beings that we know as angels.

Once the universe was complete, the Divine then decided to place parts of Himself in each of the different dimensions and galaxies. Some became animals; others became birds; while still more became human beings.

The Divine reasoned that in order to experience love, He also had to experience its opposite, fear, and so fear came into being. This is what we refer to as the Fall of Man. It was at this moment that the polarities of light and dark also came into being.

The polarities of light and dark are the means that we use in order to foster transformation and change. Change is the energy that propels us to move forwards and evolve, both individually and as a group. Fear is the motivator that prevents us from accepting these changes. Change is the most powerful force in our universe, for without it there would be no evolution or progress. It may seem somewhat of a paradox, but change is the only constant.

When the universe came into being, polarities were fashioned in order to nurture this change. Just as there is love and fear, light and dark, hot and cold, positive and negative, masculine and feminine, it is these polarities that allow motion to take place.

For current to flow in an electrical circuit, there must a potential difference. This difference is created by both positive and negative charges permitting current to flow. With an increasing potential difference, there will be an ever larger current. This analogy hints at the role played by both the darkness and the light. The greater the differential, the greater the potential for change. This similarity ends the moment we realize that darkness is neither positive nor negative, but just is.

As we equate the Divine with love, or light, we also equate fear, or darkness with the Devil, or Satan. We are taught to view the Devil as an opposing force, external to ourselves, that must be kept in check. In fact this force is not external, as it permeates everything in the universe. Thus it is therefore both internal and external.

Darkness is not the evil force painted by the doctrine and dogma of religion. Darkness possesses an energy all of its own just as the energy of light. The polarity of darkness can be thought of as being in direct opposition to that posed by the light.

Many people believe that Lucifer and Satan are one and the same, but I am not one of these. I believe that Lucifer is merely the light twin of Satan, hence his name, which means light bearer. As Satan stands in the light keeping it in check, so Lucifer stands in the darkness keeping that in check, striving to maintain balance. Lucifer is not the fallen angel he is portrayed to be, he simply volunteered to do a difficult job – it’s a tough one, but someone’s got to do it!

The darkness is the voice of fear or negativity, the voice that sits on our shoulder telling us we are weak and unworthy, and tries to sabotage our efforts. This is referred to in A Course in Miracles as the ego. The light on the other hand, is the voice of love, the voice that says we are worthy, and the voice that encourages our efforts.

As individuals, we all have our dark side. To become balanced we must acknowledge that it exists. We may ignore it, suppress it, smother it, but we can never destroy or conquer it. Pain and anger do not decompose when buried, they fester and irritate only to surface at the most inopportune moments. Our dark side is an aspect of us that makes us who we are. We need to integrate it within us, to use its energy wisely and constructively to bring us to the dawn of our divinity.

A Course in Miracles states that there are just two emotions, love and fear, and that all so-called negative emotions, such as anger, hatred, jealousy, etc are just different aspects of fear. When you think about it this makes perfect sense, as most of these emotions are based on the false perception that someone else is either better than us, or has something that we believe we should also have, whether this is more money, a bigger house, a better job, or our ex-partner.

While this great experiment continues, we continue to gather experiences through this life, and past ones. When we return to the Source, between lives, these experiences are absorbed by the Divine. Our experiences are then His, and He continues to experience Himself through us. In this way, we are all aspects of the Divine. This makes a mockery of religions that teach the concept of a judgmental God, for if this is true, then in judging us, He is also judging Himself. The Divine does not judge, He merely observes.

The Last Judgment as mentioned in the Bible has nothing to do with the Divine, as it is not the Divine that judges man, but rather man who judges himself, or herself. The real meaning of the Last Judgment is that man will wake up to this fact, and stop judging himself. It is therefore literally the last judgment we will ever make about others or ourselves. It can then be seen as more of a healing than a punishment.

This concept is feared by so many because the word last is also associated with death, but in reality we cannot die. The body may die, but we are not our bodies. The body is merely the vehicle through which the soul, which is eternal, expresses itself.

Edwin Courtenay likens the soul to a string of beads or pearls, each of which is sent down separately to Earth in order to incarnate as human beings, or other life-forms. Although they are sent down separately, together they make a complete whole. When our lifetime is over, and we return to the soul, the experiences of each individual bead are then integrated into the whole.

In this way it is possible to have more than one aspect, or bead, on Earth at the same time. Sometimes these aspects will meet, sometimes not; it all depends on their soul path and what they have come here to achieve. These twin aspects as it were, are known as twin souls. Contrary to popular belief, these need not necessarily be opposite genders, or even from the same family. It is my view that the majority of twins, especially those who are identical, are twin souls, as are other multiple births. In theory it is possible to have any number of beads incarnate at the same time, but in practice there are rarely more than three.

Edwin states that each bead incarnates just once before returning back to the soul, its source. So when people state, for example, that they are the reincarnation of Queen Cleopatra, what this means is that they are part of the same soul, or string of beads from which she originated. This is sometimes referred to as the oversoul, or higher self.

Since all beads are a direct emanation from the Divine source, they still carry the Divine spark. The two then cannot be separated. Thus we are all equal and part of the same soul, regardless of skin colour, gender or beliefs. I wonder what the racists and religious fundamentalists would think of that!

The soul does not live within the body as many people have been led to believe. Instead, it is the other way around, with the body inhabiting the soul. The soul resides within the energy field which surrounds our physical form, and that of all other living beings.

When we switch on our televisions, we think we are seeing a picture, when in actual fact what we are seeing is a series of fast moving electrical impulses that form the illusion of a picture. Our bodies are much the same, as we can see from Kirlian photography. This is the science of measuring and photographing the energetic impulses that make up the illusion of our physical form. This is sometimes referred to as the aura, or energy field.

This energy field is composed of seven layers, each of which is connected to a specific aspect of our being, such as our emotional or mental selves. This is the coat of many colours that Joseph is said to have worn in the Bible , and is also symbolic of the seven halos that were said to cloak Humbaba, god of the Cedar Forest in the Epic Gilgamesh. We are told that Humbaba has removed six of these seven cloaks, and this is how Gilgamesh and Enkidu manage to slay him.

The light from this energy field surrounds and radiates into all living things. There is in effect, no place where one soul ends and another begins, as you cannot separate one energy field from another. In the same way, it is impossible to separate the air in different rooms. This is quickly realized when we bake bread or make coffee, as the smell emanates throughout the entire house. In the same way, our soul energy radiates out into the ethers, merging with everything that we encounter.

Although on one level it is true that there is just one soul, there are also different types of soul, namely those who choose to incarnate into physical bodies, and those who do not. These are known as soul groups. Among those who choose not to incarnate are angels and light beings, whose role it is to monitor over the Earth and its inhabitants. These are known as Earth’s Spiritual Hierarchy.

All planets and star systems have their own hierarchy, as do galaxies, and the universe as a whole. The universe can be thought of as a huge corporation, and the Hierarchy as their board of Directors, while the Planetary Hierarchies are like Department Managers.

From time to time these angels and light beings may choose to incarnate into physical form in order to more directly assist with the evolution of mankind. As most of these have never incarnated before, they have trouble adjusting to the new density of their physical forms. Angels by their very nature are not logical, linear beings, and as such their brains have great trouble grasping the concepts of language, science and mathematics. This is the reason why so many children are now experiencing learning difficulties, such as dyslexia and ADD (attention deficit disorder). Many of them are incarnate angels.

Soul clusters usually consist of a small number of individuals who have chosen to work together on specific issues, such as forgiveness and tolerance. They usually, but not always, include our close family members and partners. Once they have experienced and learnt all that they need to know, these souls leave the group and move on to the next one in order to learn from other experiences. As the soul gathers these insights and experiences faster and faster, this is one of the reasons for the ever-increasing divorce rate, as once two souls have experienced all that they can together, there is no longer a need for them to be together.

It has often been said that life is a school, and we are here to learn a series of lessons which teach us about various aspects of life. I believe that the reason we are here is not to learn, but to remember who and what we are and to continually recreate that. Relationships are thus a valuable and sacred tool, enabling us to experience ourselves in relation to others.

In the absence of comparison, everything, including yourself, becomes little more than an abstract concept. It is only in relation to another that we exist as a knowable quantity at all. Relationships therefore act as mirrors, enabling us to see and learn much about ourselves in the process.

Spirit guides are loving beings of light who have chosen to help us on our journey. In most cases we have already spent lifetimes in the company of these guides. One of my guides is known as Shalindra. She is my wordsmith, helping me to find the right words to bring forth the essence of what I am trying to say. She has been invaluable as a source of inspiration during the writing of this book. Our connection goes back many hundreds of years to when she was a Priestess in the area now known as Glastonbury, and I befriended her.

The author Robin Norwood describes the evolution of the soul as following two distinct paths, known as the outward path and the path of return. Somewhere in the middle we meet what is known as the point of integration.

She likens our identification with the body to deciding to make a car journey, and believing that we are the car rather than the driver, being aware of the scenery and the road, but forgetting why we made the journey in the first place, and where we are going.

While on the outward path we are learning to identify with, and master the physical body and senses. As we gain mastery, our focus shifts outwards to the world at large with all the opportunities and challenges that it brings. The choices and decisions that we make have outcomes, and so we gain in experience. In the process we experience many bumps and scrapes, sometimes incurring deep and profound emotional and spiritual wounds. However painful this may seem, these are nevertheless an essential part of our learning process, for without them we would not grow. The journey is infinitely more important than the destination.

Sometimes these wounds run so deep that they persist for many lifetimes, never being properly healed, and causing us to become rigid and fixed in our attitudes and beliefs. These can also manifest as physical complaints and phobias. A good example of this is the dog phobia that I have. This is apparently due to being killed and eaten by wild dogs during a previous incarnation.

Eventually, after a period of many lifetimes we reach the point of integration. It is often at this point that the pain and suffering are at their most intense, for it is only by coming to a complete point of surrender that we can begin to tread the path of return. It is at this point that we begin to come into our power, often having a deep need for recognition and influence.

These individuals are often strong-willed and dogmatic, believing that their way is the only way. They love to be centre stage, in the public eye. Most of our entertainers and politicians can be said to be at this point. It is this unceasing demand for recognition that eventually brings us to the path of return.

As we begin to walk this path, old wounds and patterns come up in ever increasing frequency to be healed. As I know from personal experience, this is no easy task, but once these patterns have been worked through, our understanding of who and what we are begins to deepen more and more. We begin to associate less with ourselves as individuals, and more with humanity as a whole, taking into account the good of all. We learn the true meaning of words such as forgiveness and compassion.

This is often tempered by a desire to serve others. Many become healers or counsellors, or do charitable work. So-called acts of God, such as the Tsunami which hit Southeast Asia on Boxing Day 2004, often act as a catalyst to move people onto this path.

Through a series of lifetimes, we develop a finer and finer vehicle for the expression of the soul, until eventually the division completely dissolves and we reach ‘at-one-ment’. We then return to the Source, and no longer need to incarnate.

Few souls have managed to achieve this aim, with those that have becoming known as Ascended Masters. They continue to guide and help us from spirit, imparting to us their sacred truths and wisdom. From time to time aspects of them may also choose to incarnate back into physical bodies in order to aid in the evolution of mankind.

Before we can return to the Source, we too must be balanced. Therefore we must strive to incorporate both light and dark aspects of our being, reaching a point of neutrality. If we work wholly for the light, and ignore our negative emotions, we will be unable to return to the Source. If we work wholly for the dark, then the same thing happens.

If there is too much darkness then the light will have to build in order to maintain balance. Likewise, if there is too much light, the darkness will have to build in order to redress that balance. The darkness cannot hold sway over the light; equally, the light cannot hold sway over the dark.

This reminds me of the force in the Star Wars films. This is described as ‘a force that is neutral, but can be used for good or evil purposes’. Luke Skywalker is depicted as working for the light, whereas his father, Darth Vader, is seduced into working for the dark side of the force. At the end of the sixth episode, Return of the Jedi, Luke refuses to kill Darth Vader, as he knows that if he does, he too will have been seduced by the darkness. Anakin, who later becomes Darth Vader, is described as the one who will bring balance to the force. This is because, at different stages of his life, he works for both the light and the dark.

The Void, and by definition the Divine, is in fact the only force in the universe that is completely balanced. Although the force itself is neutral, like us it has two polarities. Everything has its opposite; as well as Archangels, there are also Archdemons. As well as Ascended Masters (the Great White Brotherhood) there are also Descended Masters (the Black Brotherhood). Wherever there is light there is darkness, and wherever there is darkness there is light. This is perfectly illustrated in the Yin Yan symbol. Neither is intrinsically evil, they are simply striving to maintain balance.

Ultimately we all choose to work on one side or the other. The ideal is to reach a point of neutrality or balance, something which is impossible to achieve while we are in still in physical form. While the universe exists in physical form, there cannot be perfect balance. If perfect balance is achieved, the universe will simply vanish. Perfect balance will mean that the light and dark energies have reached equilibrium and will effectively cancel each other out. If one succeeds in defeating the other, there will no longer be any evolution. The universe will have served its purpose, and will vanish, to be born again in a different form, beginning the process again in a never ending cycle.

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