Sample

The Fool

Ayesha’s Heart

“All glory comes from daring to begin” Unknown

The decision she made to start on this journey was of momentous importance. It was taken with little knowledge of the outcome and yet with a feeling of excitement at the risk involved. It was like standing at the top of a cliff and daring herself to jump. Yet she knew that when she did jump the angels would catch her.
And so it began with gay abandonment.
Carefree, loving, uninhibited.
A frisson of fear of the unknown.
A sense of adventure.
A knowing that in order to remember the truth of her life she had to step into the unknown and start down the long road of discovery.
She was proud of herself and felt sure that she would find peace and contentment and be in harmony with the oneness of the universe.
She also knew she would be guided.
That if she asked for help she would receive it.
That if she walked the path of her truth she would feel the way forward with clarity.
So she opened her eyes on this new world with love and opened her heart to all of those living beings around her.
And immediately closed them.
The horror of the reality that surrounded her was more than her newly born soul could receive. The energy was chaotic and full of negativity. The light was not natural and the others around her were living in fear.
Did they not know that it isn’t supposed to be like this? It doesn’t have to be like this.
She pushed out her thoughts to them, she inwardly screamed at them to understand her message of love but nobody heard and even after so short a time she started spiralling into despair.
And then she opened her eyes for the second time, but not her heart.
A change had come over her. She was no longer connected to her inner source of wisdom and love.
She remembered nothing now and therefore no longer knew that this was not how life was meant to be
She was given the name Ayesha.
During the first few years she perceived that there was some hidden purpose to her life but whenever she tried to express her feelings she was admonished for being fanciful or living in a dream world.
She learnt her lessons well.
Fear.
Hate.
Anger.
Jealousy.
Shame.
Dishonesty.
Need.
She believed that she wasn’t good enough.

She believed that she could never hope to succeed.
She believed that her body should be hidden in shame.
She believed that she was not special.
She believed that she should trust no–one.
She believed that she was the one to blame.
She spiralled further and further down into despair until she no longer heard any voices.
Ayesha, who had been born with such joy and expectation, no longer wanted to face life.
She began to excuse her behaviour as everyone else’s fault.
She took no responsibility for her choices.
She gave all her power away.
She abused her body, her mind and her soul.
She had no sense of who or what she was.
She hit the ground.
There were no angels.

 

The Oracle

When you choose to work with the Fool there is a sense of a new and sometimes unknown adventure in the offing. Or maybe you are hoping for change in your life. There is a childlike quality to any course of action taken because not all the consequences are known or possible outcomes considered. But even if they are, the next stage of the journey seems so important any reservations are swept to one side. A force that appears beyond yourself is urging you forward. There is usually a sense of destiny involved and any change undertaken whether it be internal or external is blessed. As is often the case when beginning a new phase or cycle of life there is excitement and fearlessness and a trust and faith that goes beyond normal understanding. The Fool however takes this step, whether consciously or unconsciously, to learn new or unremembered lessons in life and the path taken and its ease or difficulty often depends on how open you are to acceptance of the lessons of your life. The Fool holds within it the sum total of all your life experiences so far and how they have affected your innocence. It is therefore necessary to be aware of how your past and your perceived future may be influencing you. You may find some resistance within you to taking this path, working with the energy of the Fool will give you a deeper understanding of why you feel the need to do this at this time. Be assured though that however hard the path may become the journey is one that is supported and protected by the Universe even when there are the inevitable and human times of despair and loss of trust.

 

My Story

Within a lifetime, the first time the energy of the Fool is part of life is at conception and then soon afterwards at birth. At the moment when the Soul joins with the physical there is perfection and all knowing and then forgetfulness. Each one of us brings into our lives a differing degree of knowledge, but each one of us always has some lesson that they have chosen to learn, some adventure through which they learn. For me it was an adventure of addiction. For many years I practiced and perfected the art of drinking and drugging myself into oblivion. That way I didn’t have to feel the pain and misery of my sense of disconnection and isolation. Ayesha’s story is my story too. The decision I made to choose a different way of life was one that created tremendous change in my life. I gave up my home, my source of income,

ended a 20 year relationship – all this as well as giving up a way of life dependent on drink. There were times of complete terror and opposing times of complete joy. But looking back on that initial journey I have no regrets and no sense of failure because out of that the next adventure commenced – the one that followed the path of healing and a sense of ultimate union once again with my higher Self, my Soul with Spirit. It is a continuing journey with many new wonderful and painful beginnings. It is the process of life and learning. There are many people I have met since the beginnings of my own healing. Genevieve, Dan and Oisin were amongst the first and a family who have become so much a part of my life the name of the Goddess Ayesha is that of their second child. Genevieve is someone who lived a life of terrible sexual abuse over many years and yet at an early age recognised the gifts this had given to her and she chose to start on her adventure of healing with enormous faith and trust in the beauty and love of life. She is now a shamanic healer and crusader for the right of children to live free and safe from harm.

 

 

The Meditation

1. Place yourself in a comfortable sitting position with your back supported and your feet on the floor.
2. Settle back and relax. Close your eyes, quiet your mind and move back into the silence of your being.
3. Imagine yourself as a child full of enthusiasm and wonderment. See yourself dressed in flamboyant clothing and at the start of a great adventure into the unknown.
4. Imagine yourself free of fear and anxiety and trusting in the knowledge that you are always divinely protected and safe.
5. And so you start your journey. At first the path is smooth and easy, the sun is shining and all is well with the world.
6. But then notice how the road becomes more difficult and starts to climb steeply, become aware that you are climbing towards the summit of a very high mountain.
7. Imagine the tiredness and loneliness of such a long journey without company and with no help.
8. And as you journey on ask yourself what in your life at present is hampering you from retaining that youthful enthusiasm for life.
9. What problem whether it be physical, emotional, or mental is creating struggle and stopping you from truly living the life of happiness and joy and love that you were born to live?
10. Ask yourself how often do you ask for help or comfort from others.
11. Accept and acknowledge your life as it is right at this moment with all its struggle, pain, loneliness and in this acceptance know you can change.
12. And now you have reached the top of the mountain and on reaching the top all your trust and faith returns. You realise that you can do and be whatever you want, whatever you imagine can be so.
13. In the next few moments take time to discover what your dream truly is whether it be small or large make that wish and imagining your wish to be a small seed, blow it away from you over the edge from the top of the mountain and feather–like watch its descent to earth where it will land lightly and in perfect order and so begin to grow.
14. When you are ready come back to the presence of your self, your physical self, open your eyes and sit quietly for a while.

 

The Poem

Here I stand on the brink of existence
A novice so willing to learn
With my faithful companion to lovingly guide me
For excitement and adventure I yearn

As I fall into life I can’t wait to get started
Even knowing the mistakes I will make
I may be young, but I’m eager
And risks I am willing to take

Many memories I carry with me
Distant dreams of lives gone before
But I need to find my own pathway
To push onwards, I long to learn more

You make me think I am foolish and headstrong
And I understand what you say
But if you look beyond the image
There’s more than the child at play

My mind is like an open book
Its pages to be filled with my fate
The unknown calls, the excitement mounts
I’m looking forward to the magic that awaits.

 

 

The Magic

Essential Oil – Rose, Vetivert
Colour –          Lavender
Tree –              Birch
Crystal –          Dioptase, Moldavite, Flame Aura Spirit Quartz, Clevelandite
Essence –       Innocence
Statement –    “Even though I am afraid of travelling into the unknown and making this gigantic leap of faith I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself”

Your Story

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