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Chapter 1
I couldn't help but pick up this journal at the bookstore today. It feels only right to document my feelings at this time of my life. Actually, I never thought I'd have this "time of my life." When I married at 21, I thought it would be a fairy tale, forever kind of thing. Jack was working for his father's business on the docks, and I had just graduated from business school. We had known each other since high school, and when we got married, I was already three months pregnant with Cassie. Vows seemed so important to me then; actually, they still do. That's why it's so difficult to believe my vows don't mean anything right now. The man I married isn't the man who (sometimes) lies beside me at night. He's often away from me and the kids nowadays and is secretive and bad tempered when I question him about these absences. He's into some activity I can't deal with right now - I probably never will. My big decision now is whether to be straight with him and ask for a divorce or leave while he's on one of his "trips" and work through a lawyer. I'm really scared. I'm feeling really stressed right now; I need to talk to someone I can trust. I'll talk to Connie. She's been my best friend forever and I trust her opinion. What a mess my life has become.
I waved to Connie, who already had her latte in front of her and was seated in the far corner of the patio at one of our favorite places, the French Caf